Sunday, November 27, 2016

Cik, nak beli tisu cik?

I had a moment of reflection a few days ago when I was out buying lunch.

I just ordered my lunch, when an elderly man approached me for some change in return for pocket tissues. "Cik, nak beli tisu cik? Boleh pakcik buat duit makan..."

Naturally, I looked for some small change in my wallet, and took out a couple of RM1 notes when I accidentally took out a bigger note, folded within one of the smaller notes.

When I realised the situation, I told the uncle that maybe the money was meant for him, and for him to keep it. He was very happy and gave me more tissues in return.

Payday was just a few days ago, so I guess I was in the spirit of giving. Hehe.

Halfway through my lunch, four more elderlies came with similar stories, some of them blind, walking with canes. And as my collection of tissues grew, my spirit of giving went from full gear to......well, not so full gear.

I ran out of small change, and it was definitely getting heavier for me to lift up the bigger notes for donation. By the time the fourth (or was it fifth?) uncle came, my answer was merely that I don't have any small change to spare. 

What a change from the initial reaction, huh? -_-"

I'm not here to drill into the path of whether they are real homeless people, or whether this is part and parcel of a bigger syndicate - really, that is not for me to judge. My concern is more on my behaviour - which I am directly accountable for. I went back to the office, still thinking about the whole thing.

It seems that, when approached for some change, I would naturally give small change first, and am somewhat reluctant to give bigger change when I ran out of small change. You see, the same amount of money that I would consider "little" when shopping, becomes significant when I want to donate to a stranger at a hawker store. For example, if you tell me your top costs you RM30, my immediate response would be, "Wow, that's cheap!" But when the Pakcik came to ask for some money, to give out RM30, feels like I'm taking out RM300 from my pocket -______-"

Am I only giving when I feel that something is of little value to me or that I can make do without it? Is there still skepticism deep in my heart? This is really something for me to reflect and improve on.

What about you guys? When approached for some change, would you give the bigger notes when you ran out of smaller notes? If yes / no, why...or why not?


Anonymous said...

Usually i'll give smaller notes macam rm1-10. Sometimes, i'll say to myself, takyah fikir nak jimat ke apa, bagi ja semua. So masa tu usually ill give bigger notes. Heheh sebab saya student lagi, kekadang rssa macam nak berjimat sebab takut tak cukup duit. Untuk tenangkan hati, saya akan cakap takpa, jangan risau duit tak cukup kalau sebab derma, Allah will provide the rest.

Anonymous said...

I give when my heart said so. Hehe..