Sunday, May 20, 2012

My Next Step

I remember once, my best friend asked me where do I see myself 10 years down the road.

I don’t know Titts, but truth be told I really wanna do something that can give me great reward in this life, and the hereafter too.  Perhaps be the change that I want to see in this world. Who knows, maybe do something related to our religion and stuff?

Titts answer was short, to the point and needs no further discussion, “You do know that’s not Ustazah-material right?” pointing to the short skirt I was wearing then.

It became clear to me shortly after that the first thing I need to do is change myself – and change I did. I tried to dress more appropriately from time to time, started reading Islamic books, attending lectures and trying to improve one step at a time.

For some reason, maybe because of my apparent change, many people seem to think that I’m already there – pious, serene and exemplary, but truth be told I’m not even close to being one.

Here’s the thing.

A lot of people say that when they started getting closer to God, they became content and peaceful with life – well, I’m here to tell you that’s very true…but that’s just half of the story.

Because, let’s face it – changing is not an easy process.

Moving away from something that you were accustomed to is hard and takes conscious efforts. In fact, the road to improvement is seldom linear; don’t be surprised if you find yourself slacking again from time to time. You wonder if you have improved at all – for with every improvement you make, a different weakness will prevail, Allahu mustaan.

You don the hijab, and suddenly you’re late for Subh prayer. You pray Subh early in the morning, and suddenly you find yourself grumbling over life. You try to be a bit more grateful and suddenly a person tests your patience and triggers your anger.

Because that’s just the way we humans are – imperfect and always in constant need for improvement. That’s why I never stopped attending lectures and reading books because by Allah, I am flawed in more ways than you can imagine and I am in constant need of reminders and advice.

Somebody once told me that Allah has plant 1% of His pleasure on Earth, and the remaining 99% in Jannah. That Jannah is soooo high up there that none of us deserves to enter Jannah except with Allah’s mercy.  A few months down the road, I now understand what he was trying to say. I cannot aim to be perfect for Jannah, because one can never be good enough. I can only give it my best shot and pray that Allah will accept from me and allows my family and I to enter Jannah with His mercy, Ar-Rahman.

So this is my another shot at trying.

Recently, I started Ajran Centre where you will find many Islamic resources - English and Malay books for adults and for kids, videos , lectures and fun board games all aimed at encouraging all of us to improve ourselves and loved ones, one step at a time. There is even a corner for you to check out the up and coming lectures that you could benefit from. So, in your free time, do visit this humble website that I have set up and like our Facebook page. We welcome you with open arms to be a part of this dakwah  and to share it with others too along the way :)

And as always, I ask for your sincere du'a that Allah will accept from me and from you - and make this website a source of knowledge and inspiration for many. May we all be able to someday be the change we want to see in this world, insha Allah.



Anonymous said...

Ajran is derived from Ajjrina aite? hehe~
No wonder when you give the link to someone at your FSpring, my instinct telling me that the blog is related to you. All the best Toots in ur future endeavour!

Anonymous said...

great news!all the best..

farhana said...

I like this entry so much!!!
So many good notes for us. Thank you so much Toots! :)

And i like ur new site. InsyaAllah segala yang baik yg u lakukan akan dapat ganjaran yang setimpal dari Allah :)

Jazica Albek said...

MasyaAllah. You are so sincere in your hijrah, alhamdulillah. I wish you all the best and may Allah make ease to our journey to Jannah. Salam ukhuwah :)

Miss Layaleya said...

All the best.. May Allah Bless Us..

purplelurve said...

Great job, Toots! Me likey...:)

Anonymous said...

inspiring mashaAllah. may Allah reward you and keep u steadfast.

now i need to figure out how to contribute to the ummah too, inshallah!


Anonymous said...

Hadith Qudsi,

Hai anak ADam, sesungguhnya jika kamu meminta & m'harapkan ampunanKu, nescaya Aku ampuni dosa yg tlh kamu p'buat & Aku tidak peduli.Hai anak Adam,, andai kata dosamu seluas langit lalu kamu memohon ampunanKu, nescaya Aku ampuni & Aku tdk peduli (betapa besarnya dosa itu). Hai anak Adam, jika kamu m'hadap pdKu dgn m'bawa dosa sepenuh bumi pula lalu kamu tdk menyekutukan Aku dgn sesuatu apa pun, nescaya Aku dtg pdmu dgn ampunan sepenuh bumi pula." (Hadith riwayat Tarmidzi)

keep it up=)

Anonymous said...

You sounded so sincere in this entry I swear I almost cried reading it.

may Allah swt bless you, kak Ajjrina. Hijrah to be a better person is not an easy thing, indeed it is not.

May Allah bless us all and grant us jannah in the hereafter :)


farahajar said...

may Allah bless u and all muslim there, me myself just like u want to be bettter muslim my iman not so strong like u, i try my very best inshaAllah,

Anonymous said...

MasyaAllah Toots so proud of you! Praying all the best for you! May Allah's bless is always w u and ur loved one.

Anonymous said...

MasyaAllah Toots so proud of you! Praying all the best for you! May Allah's bless is always w u and ur loved one.

Anonymous said...

Jazakallah Khair..It is indeed a very inspiring notes.

Keep on writing :)

Anonymous said...

Subhanallah..keep it up dear!! this is a real person that talked to me in da library 8 years ago about her grandfather =P

Anonymous said...

inshaAllah toots.well written and said.i love u toots,lillahi.eventhough we may not know each other,but the thoughts,opinon,ideas in your blog are sincerely link us an others who read and benefited from this.May Allah grant us with His hidayah to keep our consistency in doing good no matter how small it seems to be.It just feel so good when we do just sincerely because of Him.We love u toots.

AJRAN CENTRE - Malaysia's Online Islamic Resources said...

Wow masha Allah you guys are so nice!! May Allah reward you greatly for your kind words and support :)

Anonymous said...

u r inspiring for someone who is so young.. :)

Anonymous said...

where is the blog? i clicked on it and said cannot be found?

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