Thursday, September 29, 2011

Five Deadly Questions from Women

Question 1 : What are you thinking?
Correct Answer :  "I'm sorry if I've been pensive dear. I was just reflecting on what a warm, wonderful, caring, thoughtful, intelligent, beautiful woman you are."
Wrong Answer : 
a -  Football
b -  How much you've grown (horizontally)
c -  How much prettier she is than you.
Slap deserving answer : If I wanted you to know, I'd be talking instead of thinking!

Question 2 : Do you love me?
Correct Answer : "Yes." For those guys who feel the need to be more elaborate, you may answer, "Yes, dear."
Wrong Answer :    
a -  I suppose so.
b -  That depends on what you mean by "love".
c -  Does it matter?
Slap deserving answer : Would it make you feel better if I say yes?

Question 3: Do I look fat?
Correct answer : Confidently say, "No, of course not" and then quickly leave the room.
Wrong answer :
a - I wouldn't call you fat, but I wouldn't call you thin either. 
b - Compared to what? 
c - A little extra weight looks good on you. 
Slap deserving answer: Yes.

Question 4: Do you think she's prettier than me?
The "she" in the question could be an ex-girlfriend, a passer-by you were starring at so hard that you almost cause a traffic accident or an actress in a movie you just saw. In any case, the correct response is, "No, you are much prettier."
Wrong Answer :    
a - Not prettier, just pretty in a different way.
b - I don't know how one goes about rating such things.
c - Yes, but I bet you have a better personality.
Slap deserving award : She's younger, that's why!

Question 5 : What would you do if I died? 
One and Only answer: Dearest love, in the event of your untimely demise, life would cease to have meaning for me and I would perforce hurl myself under the front tires of the first Domino's Pizza truck that came my way.

-Edited from :


Kauthar said...

hi Toots..these are sooo true :D the last question..ihihi :S

Toots said...

Hehe. Yes, I think you speak on behalf of me too :D