Saturday, July 11, 2009

A Hurtful Past

When life hits you hard, a spectrum of feelings emerge.

Hurt, anger, confusion - to name a few. Sometimes we analyze every single detail, every aspect of the problem, that we get lost in the maze we created ourselves.

Forgive and forget - the solution is clearly presented before us but just as the saying goes; it's easier said than done.

We say we've put it behind us, but we still talk about it. We say that we've moved on, but a certain incident would still affect us emotionally. We say that we're strong, but we're still angry.

We say a lot of superficial things to keep us moving. It's not wrong, it's just a painful process along the way.

I've went through that long winded road myself. The anger, the hurt, the act of being strong when you're crippling inside. I've put on the mask long enough to believe that I have fooled everyone, including myself.

I don't know when I stopped pretending. I don't know when lies became truths, I don't know at which particular point I started moving on, but I did. The less I talk about the past, the less I go around convincing people I'm okay - the more I realized that I am indeed, okay.

So if you have a past that is so hurtful to recall, a history that you wish was not yours, fret not over what has happened. Do not fall into the complacency of pointing faults, for each one of us has a role to play to cause a certain event to happen. Avoid living in denial, trying to live a past that is no longer yours.

"Make a place for the event in your life and then put it in its place, much like a chapter in a book you have read and choose not to read again."

Most importantly, open doors for acceptance.

Be sincere in everything you do, and don't strengthen yourself by weakening others. Do not let hatred creep into your heart, instead fill it with love and acceptance.

Finally, at all times, have your religion, your family and your friends close to your heart. Remember, this too shall pass.



Anonymous said...


Rahimy said...

Very touching post! :)

Anonymous said...

Your blog reminds me of this quotes

"Forgive and forget. That's what they say. It's good advice, but it's not very practical. When someone hurts us, we want to hurt them back. When someone wrongs us, we want to be right. Without forgiveness, old scores are never settled...old wounds never heal. And the most we can hope for, is that one day we'll be lucky enough to forget." - Dr. Meredith Grey.

maybe someday we will grow up all of it. or maybe every night before sleep, we just have to forgive, more. Wallahualam.

A Girl's Say said...


Thanks for sharing Anon


Aliaa said...

thank you for such a wonderful post! reminded me that sometimes you just have to slowly let it go and just hope for the best that life has to offer.
love your post! makes me miss u more!!!

aca said...

if its dat easy.........i wish i can do this too

take time lar kan......

i miss u sooo much.....damn.i need a u yesterday but i think ur too busy even to pick up the phone :D

A Girl's Say said...

Aliaaa I miss you toooo!!! Pls dload skype so we can do video conferencing together-gether with hanis and ZIGGYYY!!!OMG I miss that fat cat! :P

Aca : Sorrrryyy yesterday i was a gone case! Buka puasa after work pun around 8.15...sampai rumah memang dah tak larat buat apa2, just mandi and sleep :(

Remember missy, the master plan may seem tough, but the key is to take one thing at a time! You can do it :)

Anonymous said...

Very profound and inspiring. Thanks for sharing this.

Often people know it's happening, without much understanding - but you verbalised it. Good post. Beautifully articulated.

Anonymous said...

hi ajjie.
what a nice post.i believe it really comes deep from your heart.i always believe that a problem is a problem when you think that it is a problem.but if we took it as a challenge, we'll be more calm to face it.that's what you mentioned as acceptance.
keep on writing inspiring post like this.
miss u n take care(^-^)
-fizah sarawak(still remember me?

A Girl's Say said...

Thanks Anon 2 :)

Fizah, of course I remember! Hope you're all well and good. Thanks for sharing your view too!

Sarahxx said...

this post is old but I've been reading back your post since I'm a new reader but this post caught my attention. Atm I'm in that situation and.. yea. its not easy to forgive and forget. Ego talking kali haha. But it's really not my fault.. ok so the finger pointing thing isnt easy as well. but you're right.

I'll have to try and make this one of the many chapters of my book and move on. at least try to. Sigh. But I'll always reread this post once I feel down again. It's a good reminder that this is not the end. So thank you so much for writing this post. :)